Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
