just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
she pinky promised me she was 18
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
