I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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