Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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