i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize