Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
