Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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