Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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