if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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