Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
