I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
