Can Purell be used as lube?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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