just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Of course I have a pirate flag
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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