She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
