i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
