the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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