She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
