I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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