There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
