If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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