I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
