I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
