can we get nightvision for the apartment?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
