New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
