only you would photoshop your dick
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just gargled with NyQuil
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
