Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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