Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
