Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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