fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
