did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
