This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
