He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'm passing your future prison.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
