I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize