yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
