do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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