Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
