There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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