Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
