everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
