i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
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