I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
