Dual....:-)
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Randomize
