Pass out mid-funnel last night.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
