my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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