...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
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