what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
me + whiskey = a bad person
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
