i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
