How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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