the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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