if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
In the future we'll all be gay
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
