come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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