You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
