i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
