I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
either way he was missing a nipple.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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