Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
