Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
